There is this cute little Mennonite store I like to buy produce near where we live. I go there because I love to shop local and support local business owners. I can also find dry goods and get good deals on produce, which is great because we go through a lot of fruits and veggies in this house.
Anyways, the other week I decided to go there on a Saturday with my kids in tow to get some apples and a few other things. I have never been there on a weekend and have never seen the place so packed. The only space left to park was partially taken up by another vehicle. I saw the driver was still in the car, so I rolled down my window to ask if he could straighten his vehicle so I could park too.
Apparently the guy must have anticipated that I was going to ask him to straighten his car. He was double parked for goodness sake in a full parking lot! As soon as I rolled down the window to ask, he started yelling at me. He was yelling, “You better get your ice cream you fat f*ck! Go get your ice cream, you fat f*ck.” Over and over, he kept yelling that. Mind you, I had two kids in the car. I wasn’t being nasty when I tried asking him to move. I was taken aback and ended up yelling at him back. Maybe he thought I would be humiliated enough to drive away so he could stay double parked. I don’t know. I do know this though…
…He couldn’t possibly know what size I was. I was in an SUV and all he could really tell is that I have big boobs. Whooptie doo. The best he could come up with was calling me fat. All it proved to me and my kids was that he was a big jerk that can’t park. Also, I didn’t even know the place served ice cream until that day, and I have been going there for small groceries for a few years. Of course, now that I knew that, I just had to get ice cream. Man, was it good! I know that my kids thought he sounded ridiculous. I discovered sidewalk chalk in our car the other day, and they said it was so they can make a “special” parking spot for people like him in the future. Also, I know that he doesn’t define how I see me. I define how I see me, and I like me. I don’t remember what he looks like because his looks were so unimportant to me. However, I do remember his ugly attitude. I have dealt with ugly attitudes like that in the past. In the past, I may have hid afterwards and felt shame, but now, I just don’t. I am beautiful for who I am. Random strangers with ugly hearts cannot dictate what I am.
I think what made me sad about the whole thing is that being called fat could possibly be the worst thing he could think of. There are many things worse than being fat. I might be overweight, but I am losing weight. Even if I wasn’t, it’s not the worst thing in the world. However, people like that seldom change. They will almost always carry an ugly heart with them. I would much rather be fat than have an ugly heart.