Some years back, a friend of mine was telling me about her friend who did boudoir shoots. She made it sound luxurious and pampering. Naturally, at the time, my response was that when I lost the weight, I would do it. I lost some weight after that, but the idea of having myself photographed scared the shit out of me. Of course, I passed.
When I decided to do my first pin up shoot, there was an element of sexy in there that scared me. I only did it as something to give my husband for Valentine’s Day. I was having a hard time, and I was at my heaviest. I brought a modest wardrobe selection. By the end of it, I was in a shirt and fishnet tights. I hadn’t really planned on showing anyone the photos until the sneak peek by the photographer came out. Holy Crap, I was gorgeous! It was the spark that led to a lot of lifestyle changes. I started exercising again, dressed better (actually dressed the way I wanted), and looked forward to seeing my photo again.
When I finally decided to take the next step and create social media accounts for my pin up and alt photos, it was one of the scariest things for me to do. I knew I was opening my body up for criticism. However, I knew it was the right thing to do. I have a message to share about how we need to love ourselves as we are…tall or short, thick or thin, whatever we are.
One of the biggest objections I have had from women about doing the kinds of photos that I do is that they need to lose weight first or be different than what they are to make it work. You don’t. You are beautiful just as you are. You need to love yourself as you are right now because whether you lose the weight you want to lose or become the person you want to be, you aren’t going to be any better for it.
Yeah, I would like to drop a few sizes. I exercise. I eat healthy. It is slow goings. However, my body is this amazing thing. My body survived the torture of many years of an eating disorder. It survived being hit by a car. It survived childbirth. It survived miscarriage. It survived depression. It is freaking amazing. My body is a rockstar!
So I choose to love it. I choose to embrace myself for better for worse, and while I am at it, I want to share the message with others that it is okay to love yourself and think you are beautiful because you are!