This was one of my favorite shoots with Victor Devilbliss and my first one with him! This one was so much fun, and I loved just about every shot! I hope you like it as much as I do!
This is the shoot that started it all for me. It is the shoot that gave me life again! When I look back on this, I see this as a major turning point in my life.
My first shoot was with Relentless Photography, and my makeup artist was Nicole from Making Faces Professional Make Up. That day changed my life, and through meeting Nicole, I met Victor Devilbliss. I did not want to go that day and am so glad I did. I love myself more…more than that, I love myself as I am. So here is one of my favorite shots!
My ascent into the world of pin up has been a gradual process the last three and a half years. My first session was supposed to be a one time thing, and a little over three years later, here I am writing a blog about my pin up adventures and fashion choices. I am trying to build up my pin up name, and so far, I have gotten to do promos for a few photographers and was the Facebook cover model for a small clothing company a few years ago. My next goals include getting published in magazines and joining pin up volunteer organizations to help others.
However, not all of my experiences have been positive. While many of my friends and family support me, some do not…maybe because they perceive it to be dirty or maybe because they don’t understand what it is all about. That is why I thought I would take the time to discuss what pin up is for me, what it has done, and what it is not.
If you ask a lot of my pin up model friends, they will tell you that pin up is a cheap form of therapy. It is completely true. Because I have gotten into pin up, it helped me battle depression and get through the loss of two pregnancies. Going to shoots helped me want to get out of bed and shower. The feeling post-session was enough to get me to want to do the whole shower and dress thing regularly when nothing else really did. Sure, I could have gone to therapy, but when it all comes down to it, even talk therapy wasn’t enough to make me give a shit some days. Pin up got me through the first part of my pregnancy that stuck. My friend Nicole told me about an amazing photographer named Victor Devilbliss, you may know him as the creator of Retro Lovely Magazine. They got me through the nerve-wracking part of my first trimester by getting me all prettied up and taking my picture. We were going for a pregnancy reveal as part of the theme. However, those two were among the very few people privy to the information that I was pregnant and knew that some of the photos might not have ever seen the light of day if I lost that one too. The way they made me look and feel that day gave me a high of a sorts to carry me through a rough time.
Pin up is about freedom, the freedom to express one’s body, sometimes in ways they thought they never could. If you look at three-quarters of the pictures in my portfolio, I would have to tell you that I never thought I would have ever done them…not because they are dirty or risque, but because they have forced me to look at parts of me I considered as flaws and turned them into beauty. We are in charge of our own bodies, the types of shoots we do, and who we choose to share our photos. Some of us do this for our own satisfaction. Some of us have chosen to share our art with the world. I am one of those in the latter camp because I want other women to see that they are beautiful…no matter what the size…or flaw they think they have. I truly believe beauty is all around us, and even if I help just one woman to learn to love herself, than it is worth it to me.
Some people try to make us feel dirty and say that what we are doing is pornographic. It is not. Some models do nudity. Some do not. It is personal preference. It is their bodies, their business.It does not make it dirty though! Pin up is a form of art. If you look at art through the years, much of it involves naked people. Don’t shame us with your misconceptions. Don’t sully the work we do or the goals we are trying to accomplish by our art. I am proud of my pin up work. I am proud of my fellow pin up community. They are some of the most supportive, generous gals you would ever want to meet. I love the photographers that I have gotten to meet. Pin up has allowed many of us to live out fantasies of being someone posh or being a fairy tale character. It allows us to dig deep into our imaginations and lets us be whatever we want to be.
Pin up is art. It is an art I love. It is an art that has given me my life back. It is an art that has shown me I have a voice for things in which I am passionate, and I will use that voice to fight stereotypes and to keep on my quest of becoming awesome!
Until next time loves!
This past spring, I got a chance to work with Boudoir by Sapphire Images. She is a great photographer who is looking at expanding her work base. For me, it was a chance to get out of my comfort zone because it was lingerie, different posing, and some of the pictures boldly showed (gasp) my tummy! I had a great time, so I thought I would show you some of my favorites from the shoot!
This first photo has special meaning to me.The lingerie was not new, but it was what I wore on my wedding night almost 14 years ago. The mister and I have been together for quite a while! I loved seeing myself as my husband may have seen me all those years ago!
This second one, I just love the lighting. It’s perfect! Also, I kinda like my legs too. My thighs have always been big, no matter how big or small I have been. However, they look gorgeously plump in this shot!
My last pic here was one that I wasn’t sure I would like at first. It makes my tummy poke out more than usual, and I was a little hypercritical. However, my tummy is a part of me. Whether I lose it eventually or not, I have it. How I carry myself and treat myself though is up to me. I think the photo is beautiful, and I think I look beautiful in it!
Boudoir is still fairly new to me, and I recommend it to any woman who needs a boost in confidence. It makes you feel sexy! Even if the only other person who sees it is you or your partner, it is so worth it. I mainly know photographers on the east coast and a bit in the midwest. If that is your area, and you want some names, feel free to ask me. I will be sure to give you the deets!
Until next time loves!
Some years back, a friend of mine was telling me about her friend who did boudoir shoots. She made it sound luxurious and pampering. Naturally, at the time, my response was that when I lost the weight, I would do it. I lost some weight after that, but the idea of having myself photographed scared the shit out of me. Of course, I passed.
When I decided to do my first pin up shoot, there was an element of sexy in there that scared me. I only did it as something to give my husband for Valentine’s Day. I was having a hard time, and I was at my heaviest. I brought a modest wardrobe selection. By the end of it, I was in a shirt and fishnet tights. I hadn’t really planned on showing anyone the photos until the sneak peek by the photographer came out. Holy Crap, I was gorgeous! It was the spark that led to a lot of lifestyle changes. I started exercising again, dressed better (actually dressed the way I wanted), and looked forward to seeing my photo again.
When I finally decided to take the next step and create social media accounts for my pin up and alt photos, it was one of the scariest things for me to do. I knew I was opening my body up for criticism. However, I knew it was the right thing to do. I have a message to share about how we need to love ourselves as we are…tall or short, thick or thin, whatever we are.
One of the biggest objections I have had from women about doing the kinds of photos that I do is that they need to lose weight first or be different than what they are to make it work. You don’t. You are beautiful just as you are. You need to love yourself as you are right now because whether you lose the weight you want to lose or become the person you want to be, you aren’t going to be any better for it.
Yeah, I would like to drop a few sizes. I exercise. I eat healthy. It is slow goings. However, my body is this amazing thing. My body survived the torture of many years of an eating disorder. It survived being hit by a car. It survived childbirth. It survived miscarriage. It survived depression. It is freaking amazing. My body is a rockstar!
So I choose to love it. I choose to embrace myself for better for worse, and while I am at it, I want to share the message with others that it is okay to love yourself and think you are beautiful because you are!